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Name: Amy
State: AZ, USA
Date: Sunday July 20, 2008
Time: 02:41:37 PM -0500
Story:
Hi, I'm 31yrs old and married. I ran accross this site looking for
Agoraphobia support groups. I was DX with Magor Depression, Agoraphobia,
Panic disorder and genralized anxiety. I also have fibromyalgia. I have been
depressed for the majority of my life and was DX about 3yrs ago or so. The
rest was DX just this year. Anyways I read the discription for APD and it
said all the things that I couldn't discribe to my phyc doctor and primary
DR.
I have been this way for as long as I can remember getting worse as I got
older. I would rather be at home reading my books, spending time with my
dogs, or on the computer. I had at least one friend thorough my child hood
until I was about 21. They never understood why I never opened up to them. I
mean I would talk to them but I never talked about personal things, and
always turned the converstions around to them. Eventually I pushed them
away.
I still have a close relationship with my Mom, Aunt, and sister. Although I
believe that my parents are a major reason I am they way I am to day. I'm
not really ready to go there yet so I will leave it at that.
I hated school and would pretend to be sick just to get out of going. I was
picked on due to my size all through elementry school and junior high. I was
physical attacked in high school. Kids would trough things at me. I was to
afraid to tell my parents because I didn't want to disapoint them. Anyways I
got through high school and tried college and by then I just couldn't handle
having people around me and still can't and it is now getting to the point
that I don't want to be around my family for more them a few hours I have to
frequently go out side to get away from them.
I tried working and all the things I can do people are involed in. I tried
to kill myself because I felt useless and no good to my husband because I
couldn't work or be around people.
I don't think that I am unapealing to people because I know I am a good
person and at least kinda pretty. I don't like my body though.
I am on 2 antidepressants, and I have meds for anxiety. they work to a point
but the thing that has helped me the most is having my service dog. He makes
is easier for me to go to the store. I don't worry so much about people when
he is around. He will watch out for me and gives other people something to
focus on besides me walking trough the store tring not to make eye contact
and avoid talking to people. I can be stoped by people that I have know and
not seen in a while and not want to cut them of or give an exuse as to why I
have to go. If I do have to do that Now I just tell them I have to take my
dog out to go potty and people understand that and don't think I am weird or
carzy for wanting to runnaway.
Well that is where I am today. I still hate going out but I can if I have
to. I hope this make sense because I feel like I just rambled on. It took me
two trys to write this thanks for leting me share my story
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